Welp…it’s practically been an entire year since I’ve visited this thing. I had to reset my password…cuz I don’t remember the things anymore, and this thing has blown outta my brain the past year.

I’ve replaced long rants and sarcastic life recaps with daily Instagram micro-updates with snarky captions and descriptive emojis (except a ballet shoe emoji which Apple continuously ignores my request for, WORK FOR THE PEOPLE APPLE!!), cuz deez kids be crazy and time for thought provoking blog updates just ain’t there.

But…theres a third one coming in a matter of weeks, and since I am all sortsa bad at remembering things (like this blog…and my password…and to email or text people back…or if I fed the dog so she gets fed twice and is now the size of a small lion…etc. etc. etc.) I’m trying to reboot things up over here.

So- for those who aren’t up to snuff on the daily mess over @thegoggindiaries, this is what’s been up:

1. Luke survived his 4th year of life, counting down until the day he was 5 since the day he turned 4. If you’re wondering- he still loves Hot Wheels, Monster Trucks, fart noises, spitting water in the bath tub, and has recently decided he wants to vacation in Mexico in the near future because he thinks they have better protein…he has so much to learn when he turns 5 in about a week.

2. Emma turned 3 in October- continues to thrive in life in a frilly skirt, princess crown, ballet shoes, and pretends to be potty trained enough to trick me and all the grown ups in her life…Her brain is now full of all the words, dance moves, and mannerisms of the entire Frozen movie, this will help her later in life I’m certain of it.

3. These two still fight like cats and dogs one minute, play like angels the next, then scream like dying banshees 30 seconds later.

4. Gracie is still alive, fed, and not groomed, someone help this poor dog before she no longer becomes recognized as an actual dog, but full on lion who is ridden daily by tiny humans.

5. Oh yea- we started 2017, we’ll not pregnant, about half way through…ta-da!! Homeboy (yea-another boy, sorry Emma, you’re forever flanked by dirt and fart jokes), could be coming any day now…so, send back-up.

6. Emma still can’t figure out how to ride her bike…IVE TRIED EVERYTHING YALL. Perhaps less Frozen dance parties and more bike riding time would help…it’s a frozen bike…I thought that would help…didn’t. HELP!

7. Pete coached Luke’s first real soccer season and was a pro at rocking the collared shirt and encouraging the 4 year old pros. Luke’s try personality of being a defender came out strong when he spent most of the season trying to body check the others for the ball or running to the goal in defense…you do you boy.

8. Last time Luke went to the dentist they gave him (I should say me, as the person who forces this on him everyday) and excellent rating…I wanna make it my license plate (GOODTEF). He still can’t wipe his own butt if that puts life in perspective of how joyful this is for me.

9. Luke kicked the floaties to the garbage and earned the coveted right to gown down the massive water slide at the pool this summer by swimming the entire length of an olympic pool on his own without touching or stopping…at 4…AIGHT THATS AWESOME.

10. Emma still hates to put her face in the water…they came from the same place, I SWEAR, HOW?!

11. Oh, Luke wants to name the new baby House Head…he’s waived all naming rights for all future people and animals. Emma wants to call it Emma…she still talks in third person and is taking it a bit far now.

12. Luke’s expanded his vegetable eating from corn and peas only…to 3 green beans at a time and carrots. I’LL TAKE IT.

13. Emma is surviving on lucky charms, chicken nuggets, and yogurt somehow…eh?

14. I conquered a movie with two kids under 5 on my own and we survived. Ignore the fact that Emma strolled the empty aisles for the last half of the movie and I allowed candy before 10am…focus on the fact that we went from previews to credits without too many threats to their existence.

15. Did I mention we’re having a third in a few weeks?!?! This is about the get interesting…tuck in y’all.

WELCOME BACK. LET’S GO 2018.