I’m just going to put it out there…that I have often felt like my new 4 year old (who can’t wait til hes 10 apparently) has beaten my soul pretty purple over the last year with our ups and downs and just general TODDLERSUCKNESS. Yea, I said it. Three years old behavior is just a great big pile of TODDLERSUCK for like 75% of the time. I ain’t lying…I ain’t exaggerating…it’s the stuff that really makes you cray some days…or weeks…or months…ok for a year, I have felt like I have been dealing with a professional tiny manipulator with hot wheels tattoos for an entire year.

It started with the sleeping on the floor…or in the hallway…basically anywhere but the bed with every light on. It continued with the yelling and crying over just about anything and the saying things like “I hate you” because I wouldn’t let him ya know…throw a giant rock at his sister or something. The nerve of this mother he has.

There were good weeks there that gave me hope of a happier time…but most of the time it was just one toddler given soul bruise after another because they are ya know…growing brains and nerve endings and all that….so they say…I just kinda wanna act like Luke did when he was three for a day and just blame it on my nerve endings and I bet someone socks me in the nose…cuz it ain’t right.

I felt like a failure, like daily, and even when the world would tell me “you’re not failing, he’s just three” I’d feel like they were just patting me on the head and sending me off to bed with a glass of cold water like the grinch does with Cindy Lou Who.

But then…I dunno what happened y’all…

I don’t wanna toot any horns here…or ya know…shout from the rooftops and jinx myself for eternity, but that’s legit what I feel like doing… BECAUSE LORD ALMIGHTY I THINK WE MAY HAVE TURNED THE CORNER HERE Y’ALL.

TOOT TOOT Y’ALL. TOOT. TOOT.

Why all these happy thoughts? Cuz I was able to walk through a grocery store with him…cartless…and he didn’t pitch a fit every aisle over ya know…ALL THE THINGS. When I tell him it’s time to leave some place? HE LIKE…COMES AND SAYS OK?! WHAT?!  When I say it’s time for dinner…HE COMES TO THE G.D. TABLE PEOPLE and eats the food. He’s nice to his sister way more than ugly, he shares the toys, he uses the manners, he flipping says please and thank you?! He doesn’t throw the video game controller across the room anymore when I tell him to turn it off…Someone smack me…or someone give me a lotto ticket, cuz I am feeling all the happy lucky vibes.

It’s not all sunshine and donuts ( I like donuts more than roses) though and I’m very aware that everything in parenting is fleeting and I should “just wait til he’s blah blah blah”, but for now, I feel like a champ. We still fight over bath time…and soap…what is it with the boy and hating soap? You stink, just take the bath. Oh and brushing teeth…basically general hygiene he still decides is just not kosher, cuz…boy. But this fear and anxiety about when he’s going to explode next and how I’m going to handle it…just kinda seems to be lifting and I hope it just…stays the flip away. YOU AINT WELCOME HERE NO MO.

Fists in the air to all the mamas in trenches with me…there is hope y’all…God Almighty Free At Last…or something less dramatic perhaps. BUT YAY.