To the kid at the play place that taught my kid to say “shut up”,

BOOOOOOOOOOO.

I don’t know who you are…I wasn’t even there when this all went down as I was scooting to buy crackers for my sons Valentines day party today at preschool (and yes I signed up for the easiest thing possible, ain’t no matter), but I heard all about you.

Let’s back up here…I don’t fault your parents for bringing you to Chick Fil’A. It’s cold out, it was a Wednesday, I didn’t feel like cooking either so I understand why your parents brought you to this joint of chicken happiness.

What I’m confused about is why you, a “big kid” were even in the play place area at all. You’re over 54 inches right? You read the sign…I actually saw you blow right past it, comment on it, laugh at it, and continue on your obnoxious way. The worst bit is, I saw you parent…sit there…watch you…and do nothing but snapchat a picture of their french fries. How original…at least use the french fries to make a Lincoln log house or something…pfft.

“There are a lot of big kids in there…so…he probably should leave”…is what you said to Luke’s dad. The big guy who was actually watching his kid in the CHILDS PLAY AREA made for kids his size (I don’t recall exactly what Pete said to this, but I’m assuming it was along the lines of “Mind your own beeswax”).

We eat dinner. I collect the tiny one. I leave to get these precious crackers and my kid stays to play. And this is where your real a-hole side comes out kid. You and your hooligans really kicked it into high gear, literally, you were having a kicking and screaming match up in the toddler tubes and you put your dirty hands on my kids neck and scratched him.

Then you taught him to say “Shut up” and I hate you forever. Hate, hate, hate, hate, loathe entirely.

I recently realized that he learned to say the word “Stupid” and “What the heck?” and that’s a whole can of worms I just wasn’t prepared for yet. But you’re public outburst of junky behavior, although awful, annoying, and downright rude, brings up some teachable moments.

1. That Luke should learn to speak up for himself when in the presence of losers like you. Lahooooo-zzzzaaaaherrrrr.
2. That Luke shouldn’t use ugly words when speaking to other people.
3. That you’re a poo poo face bologna head (this negates number 2, so I won’t actually tell him this, but it’s how I feel alright?!)
4. That we apologize to those we hurt…even when we don’t know them.
5. That Snapchat is never more important…cept when you have a really long streak with a friend and just NEED to keep it going…other than that…kids first, got it?

This isn’t the first time older kids like you in places you shouldn’t be has annoyed me. I watched a dad blatantly lie to a Monkey Joes referee about how old his child was in the 3 and under section. She’s wearing sneakers that tie, is taller than my child, and has long long hair, SHE’s 4 NOT 2, nit wit. For some reason kids think it’s fun to play with things they’re “too big” for, but when you impact the experience my kid is having in the place he’s supposed to be, I’m done with you.

I don’t fully blame you…your parents who sat their stone faced watching you and your sibling are the biggest offenders. But you can change. So let’s work on it.

Goggin Out.