1. What is something I always say to you?

“Umm…not to have a bad attitude” (I’m apparently a tyrant)

2. What makes me happy?

popcorn. (yes, but it’s not like I’m popcorn obsessed…)

3. What makes me sad?

“When I have a bad attitude…” (FACT)

4. How do I make you laugh?

“Ummm you tell me to not cry” (that’s very literal)

5. What was I like as a child?

“Umm…a baby!” (fact)

6. How old am I?

“No, How old is me?!” (self-centered much?)

7. How tall am I?

“You can’t reach the ceiling”…(fact)

8. What is my favorite thing to do?

“To listen…” (sure)

9. What do I do when you’re not around?

…walks away with scotch tape and shouts “I’m GONNA TAPE SOMETHING” (great)

10. What am I really good at?

“Umm…hammering”… (what!) “You know it’s your job to hammer, but you know hammering is not good for boys”….”Mommy I’m gonna tape the wall” (I can’t even follow this)

11. What is something I’m not good at?

“fixing something” (can’t fault you there)

12. What do I do for a job?

“Umm…hammering”

13. What is my favorite food?

“Umm…its kind of…(pulls out a lean cuisine pizza) this” (not exactly kid)

Tape is stuck to his fingers as he answers.

14. What do you enjoy doing with me? 

“Ummm playing and being nice” (JACKPOT ANSWER)

Additional questions I have for the toddler…

15. How old are you?

“Um, three years old”

16. What do you want to be when you grow up?

“Ummmm…play with the hot wheels and my ultimate garage”… (enjoy the unemployment office kid)

17. Why won’t you sleep in your bed?

“Because, I don’t…I like to sleep in my castle instead”…(groan)

18. Why won’t you eat vegetables?

“You know I don’t like broccoli”…(I do know this…)

19. Do you love your sister?

“Mmhmm” (heart eyes)

20. Whose the president?

“Mr. McFeely”….(far from the truth)

The completion of this survey took all day. Attention spans run short.