I’m 30 today. Gulp.
I contemplated just resetting the clock and going right back down to 20 again, but honestly…I think moving forward is just better for everyone. I was up feeding the tiniest one around 3 am this morning and started thinking back on all the things that have happened in the last ten years and truly feeling relieved that I don’t have to be that young, unknowing dingle brained 20 year old whose biggest problems in life were sorority meetings on Sunday nights and if I was going to pass Chemistry or not…I did…it only took me two times…but I did. WINNING.
That 20 year old had no idea what the next 10 years were going to look like for her…
She had no clue shed bust her leg so bad one stupid drunken evening and hobble around a hilly campus in the winter for a solid 3 months. Wish i’d known that…
She had no clue she’d spend two amazing years living with her “people” and building the groundwork for the best of best friendships.
She had no clue that she would graduate on time or that she’d have a job before she even left school. PRAISE.
She had no clue she’d move to Virginia at all…
She had no clue that she would work for an agency she read about in text books which allowed her to get into grad school.
She had no clue when/where she’d meet “that guy”, but that she’d meet him at 23 after 3 tedious months of match.com dating…in a bar…named carpool…at her best friend from kindergartens birthday party.
She had no clue she’d live in one building, but two apartments separated by a staircase and that she’d fight with one lady about locking the front door because she didn’t have a key to it…grumble.
She had no clue she’d get to spend a lovely 8 days in London soaking in the glory of the Brits and seeing Good Charlotte in Heathrow airport on the way home.
She had no clue Will and Cate would get married on her birthday when she was 26, but HOW AMAZING IT WOULD BE.
She had no clue she’d get engaged on a rainy October evening and be surprised with all her people there to celebrate her and him.
She had no clue she’d be married by 25. She had hopes, but wasn’t sure. And that she’d marry into a super, great, welcoming clan of a hundred people :).
She had no clue it would take her 4 years to finish her MPH, but when she did how relieved and accomplished she felt. BOOM. BYE BOOKS.
She had no clue she’d work for one company for five years not really loving it, but meeting really great mentors and coworkers who made it more enjoyable.
She had no real clue she’d move to the suburbs, get the golden, and two months later find out that baby number one was on the way!
She had no clue how lovely it feels to watch her friends get married, have babies, and find their purpose in life.
She had no clue that her friends would move all across the country, but distance really means nothing, there will always be that connection.
She had no true understanding what it meant to have family and feel loved by them until she had her own kids and then oh how it makes sense.
She didn’t know she’d quit her job to be there full force for her 1 year old, stay home and spend her days talking trucks, trains, and playing in dirt and making countless dinners of mac n cheese.
She didn’t know she’d have two kids, one of each, before she was thirty, nor did she know how HARD that would be, but how sweet and precious at the same time.
She had no clue about it all.
When I’m 40 and I think back to my unknowing 30 year old self, Lord only knows what this decade will bring me…I can only hope theres at least one trip to Italy in there…just one :).
Thank you all for your sweet presence in my life, makes turning 30 just feel not so horrible after all :).