What my kids are thankful for…

It’s Thanksgiving on Thursday (ok I know it’s always on a Thursday, but it is in fact on THIS Thursday). You’ve been plagued this entire month by those daily “things I’m thankful for” on Facebook since Halloween was over…I know…I’m kinda over reading that you are “thankful for the Splenda in your coffee making it oh so sweet” updates too. Hooray for Splenda!

I was up feeding the littlest nugget at 2am last night…watching The Lego Movie in the dark…and drifting off into the dangerous place that is my mind when I started thinking of what my kids would “Say” they are thankful for this year…here is what my sleep deprived mind came up with:

1. Running naked

Pete has allowed Luke to run naked, post bath, dripping wet, and giggling through the hallway for maybe the past week. He thinks this is the GREATEST TIME OF HIS ENTIRE DAY. He runs to the door…stops…shakes his wet lil booty…sometimes stops for a mid-run-pee on the carpet (I’m thankful for carpet cleaners) before scurrying back into our room to try and climb on our bed, getting it nice and damp. I’d try and stop this lil act if it wasn’t so darn funny to me too…He’ll prob stop wanting to do this when he’s like…12…so I figure it won’t last FOREVER.

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2. The ugly pacifiers

Emma is still on a “soothie” paci only kick. I had a giggle to myself when I had a dirty thought looking at the shape of them ( I won’t describe it), about why she might like this kind better…I HATE THEM. It looks like the dark hole of fleshy gummy grossness when she has them in her mouth, but when the eyes roll into the back of her head in glee when the soothie enters the dark abyss…you can’t help but give in to her demands.

3. CRACKERSSSSSSSS

Wheat thins. Pretzels. Cheerios. Goldfish. Ritz with peanut butter. Ritz with cheese. Pretzel sticks. You are all winners in the mind of the bottomless pit that is Luke the garbage disposal Goggin.

4. Not being in car seats

Oh you want to go somewhere? I’d rather we didn’t, I’m gonna wail now- Eskillet. If I could drive with her in the bjorn, the world would be a happier place, and so would she. Carseats have been the devil for both of my kids. I think it’s my claustrophobia that is causing this problem…you wanna strap me into a bucket where I can’t get out? Psht….negative ghost rider.

IM FREEEEE!
IM FREEEEE!

5. SLIDES

Face forward, backwards, upside down, climbing up, or sliding down, we love them. We call them “wees” because thats what we say when we go down…or “ffffflides”…everything starts with “F” around here…and that makes everything sound like a bad word…it’s comical…I’m thankful that he’s cute and he doesn’t really know that he’s saying the “F” word 1504834 times a day instead of “Firetruck” like he thinks he is.

Ok so this isnt a slide, but he's pretending they are on a slide...
Ok so this isnt a slide, but he’s pretending they are on a slide…

6. Milk

This is a given. Her life would be all sorts of unhappy without the liquid gold that she receives every few hours. I wonder if on Thanksgiving it’ll taste like mashed potatoes and gravy?

Youre gonna feed me here soon right?
Youre gonna feed me here soon right?

7. Fail Videos on Youtube

So…this is a ritual. Post bath and naked marathon through the house…the bigger goggle crawls up on to the bed and demands “CAR CRASH” videos…I’m not sure HOW this got started…but theres no going back…the kid is addicted to watching people bust their faces on concrete or get molten lava glowy liquid in their faces…how long until he tries any of these things in real life?! Probably tomorrow.

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8. Medical Insurance

This is mostly for me, but I know Emma will appreciate the fact that we are medically insured after she has received her 10th concussion of the day or gash to the face because big brother has no comprehension of his limbs. Just this morning she got a knee to the head because he had to crawl OVER her to get the cheerio. Or when the toy had to go on her head forcefully causing a nice red gash and her first bloody boo boo…I died. I know kids are tough…and resilient…but honestly HOW MANY TIMES IS TOO MANY BEFORE I HAVE TO WORRY?!

Am I safe in this thing? No? Ok, just checking.
Am I safe in this thing? No? Ok, just checking.

9. Garbage Trucks

Tuesday and Friday mornings are glorious days around here, why? THE GARBAGE TRUCK COMES! For 5 seconds…the lil feet scamper to the window to watch the nice garbage man take away another pail filled with poopy diapers and uneaten food, thank you garbage man. My nose is thankful for you as well. Sometimes they wave at him and a rainbow grows out of the back of the truck like a pot of gold.

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10. Pooping

Brace yourself, this ones gross. Luke pooped just about every 4 hours when he was 2 months old. Kid was a clockwork pooper. In comes Emma…the girl can go 3 days sans poop…the first time this happened I just knew the gates of poop hell were going to open up when she finally unleashed it…boy was I right. The outfit is still sitting on my washer because I have no clue how to tackle the epic amount of stains that now live on the pretty fabric. She seems to be on the 2 to 3 day cycle…and these things…are something I have yet to get used to. Her faces when it finally happens…are similar to Vern Troyer as a mini Dr. Evil. Afterwards…baby bliss ready to fill up and go again in 3 days time.

READY TO 'SPLODE!
READY TO ‘SPLODE!

That’s all I can think of, 10 random things my kids are thankful for. I could say they are thankful for me, or family, or that normal lovey dovey stuff…but lets be honest…they are really thankful for pooping and trucks.

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