No not me. This chick, Amy Glass.

This article popped up on my newsfeed this morning and as Luke was tossing his bananas and cereal onto the dogs back I thought, what a lovely morning read, lets see what she has to say…

One paragraph in and I was both giggling to myself at the stupidity of it all and just letting her words fuel my hate fire for her like a burrito on rebel wilsons ear…

Every time I hear someone say that feminism is about validating every choice a woman makes I have to fight back vomit.

Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same. It’s hard for me to believe it’s not just verbally placating these people so they don’t get in trouble with the mommy bloggers.

Oh hi, mommy blogger here, the one you are attempting to not start trouble with (cuz I’m that important). I find you ignorant Ms. Glass (I sure as heck know its not mrs. because you go on about a 2 paragraph tyrant about how being married crushes your dreams and make you weak). Yes, in fact, I do find that they are on equal footing. A woman who works and takes care of herself…is doing just that and only that, TAKING CARE OF HERSELF. Do you wanna know how many people (and animals) a SAHM may have to take care of? MORE THAN ONE. While keeping them fed, alive, clean, edumacated, socialized, and thriving members of society so they don’t become pig-headed idiots like you.

Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average. And here’s the thing, why on earth are we settling for average?

If women can do anything, why are we still content with applauding them for doing nothing?

Really? Anyone can do them? Anyone? Do you know how many women struggle every year with infertility? A lot. Do you know how much money goes into dating websites so people can find love and get married? A crap ton. If anyone could do it, anyone would do it at the snap of a finger. But guess what Ms. Throw Stones in Glass Houses, they can’t. And that is why we celebrate them, because they are good, wonderful, and important aspects of our lives. I bet you wrote this on the subway at 9pm at night as you realized you were on your last bag of cat liter (no offense to cat people). As I was reading, I kept getting flashbacks to that Sex And the City episode where Carrie went to a party, had to take her shoes off, someone stole her shoes, she asked for the $375 to pay for the Manolo’s, the lady laughed at her and said she had too many responsibilities to pay for her luxurious lifestyle, Carrie moped, she totaled up how much she has spent in wedding and baby gifts for her, then threw herself a “Marriage to Herself Shower” and registered at Manolo Blahnik anyways. Zing.

I want to have a shower for a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job not when she stays inside the box and does the house and kids thing which is the path of least resistance. The dominate cultural voice will tell you these are things you can do with a husband and kids, but as I’ve written before, that’s a lie. It’s just not reality.

Maybe you just don’t get invited, but these things happen in the form of happy hour, send off parties, and other “hey you’re doing something cool, lets drink and eat tostitos” kinda ways. Maybe because you mope on the internet so much your invites get “lost in the mail”. Oops. Sad for you.

Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work. They are not equal. Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business. This word play is holding us back.

Clearly this woman has never spent 24 hours with a small human before. I’ve left the house for 5 hours before and my husband wasted no time in telling me how hard it was only for 5 hours and how he was so appreciative that I did this day in and day out while doing 2 additional part time jobs. Maybe I’m extra sensitive to this article because I in fact took the 2 part time jobs and narrowed it down to 1, putting in my notice and leaving my corporate consulting job after 5 years of “dedicated service” (thats what it says in the standard letter they send people who are fleeing from the madness).

I didn’t choose to leave my job because I want to sit at home and make spaghetti art with Luke or fold t-shirts and pick up cheerios all day, thinking that would be more fun than earning money. I didn’t choose to leave my job because I find adult conversations and using my pricey education lame and not as important as getting a Masters of Curious George. I didn’t choose to leave my job because I’m feeling lazy and only want to have 2 jobs and not 3 (I’m counting being a mom a job, get over it Ms. Glass).

I chose to leave my job because thats the best thing for my family, for my son, and because I want him to be a better human being than you, oh snap. One who respects and values all people, all choices, and all backgrounds. I chose to but my energy and time into that one thing that you find repulsive and a waste of time and energy.

Well lady, you can suck it.

I value myself no less than I did before I put in my notice, in fact I feel more whole than I have in awhile. I’m pretty sure I won’t value myself any less after I’ve been knee deep in play dough in about 3 months. I may not be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a top 10 photographer or blogger, but I know what it is to be a mom and to love something greater than myself. I know what it means to sacrifice and be selfless for something. Which is WAY more than anyone can say about you right now.

To read the full article and spit fire head on over to the Thought Catalog and enjoy reading all of the snarky comments…they’re great.