An 11 Month Old’s Letter to Santa…

So y’all have seen this adorable and completely accurate blog post called A 10 Month Old’s Letter to Santa over at The Ugly Volvo. I chuckled at each one of these just imagining Luke’s delight over each one of these seemingly boring yet highly entertaining to him objects. Seeing as it is one week til Christmas, and my list is still very long with question marks next to each one of them, I thought I’d do the responsible thing and procrastinate even more by making Luke’s own special letter to Santa with the things his little heart desires most in the world…good use of time Goggin…good…use…of…time.

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Dear Santa-

So, heres the thing big guy. I think i’ve been pretty good this year. These people who take care of me, they tell me all the time how “adorable” and “awesome” I am so from what I’ve gathered about this holiday season….that means presents. But, I’m not in the market for those “normal kid things” like brain stimulating toys with blinky lights and songs. I want the real good stuff. The stuff that makes my heart giggle and entertains me and makes my parents nuts. Can ya do that big guy? Here’s just a tiny list of things i’d like to see under that big tree in the living room come Chrsitmas morning…

1. A never ending flight of stairs.

You see Santa, you can go UP and then DOWN these things as many times as you want. It's great. It's especially fun to pretend to slip and give your parents a heart attack.
You see Santa, you can go UP and then DOWN these things as many times as you want. It’s great. It’s especially fun to pretend to slip and give your parents a heart attack.

2. A box of electric chords.

These apparently feel great on gums and teeth. I like to chew on them, and then also the papery tag provides extra hours of gummy fun. They tell me I shouldn't and that i'll do this thing called "electrocute" myself...but  whatever.
These apparently feel great on gums and teeth. I like to chew on them, and then also the papery tag provides extra hours of gummy fun. They tell me I shouldn’t and that i’ll do this thing called “electrocute” myself…but whatever.

3. A cabinet door just to open and close.

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You see the doors open…and close…and then you can hide things like the dogs bone or your water bottle in there, driving mom crazy looking for it for hours…you shoulda seen her face when she found it…priceless.

4. This tiny scrap of paper.

No clue why I like this,  but I do, don't judge me.
No clue why I like this, but I do, don’t judge me.

5. This tylenol syringe.

Mmmmm plastic. I like to carry it around all day and stab people and things with it. It's also fun to annoying the furry human with.
Mmmmm plastic. I like to carry it around all day and stab people and things with it. It’s also fun to annoying the furry human with.

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6. This empty soap container.

It used to be filled with this stuff they put on me in the tub, but now it's empty and its fun to gum on...and that lil green thing, it's fun to flick. Good times all around.
It used to be filled with this stuff they put on me in the tub, but now it’s empty and its fun to gum on…and that lil green thing, it’s fun to flick. Good times all around.

7. Anything in this basket.

The best part is when they're trying to change me and I keep wiggling to try and get into this basket...they love it.
The best part is when they’re trying to change me and I keep wiggling to try and get into this basket…they love it.

8. This bathtub stopper.

Once they fill up the tub...I pull this sucker out and watch the water go down. They tell me it's "wasteful", but the satisfaction of the water going down the drain is so AWESOME.
Once they fill up the tub…I pull this sucker out and watch the water go down. They tell me it’s “wasteful”, but the satisfaction of the water going down the drain is so AWESOME.

9. This dog bone.

The dog thinks it's hers...she is wrong.
The dog thinks it’s hers…she is wrong.

10. And not wearing diapers.

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Diapers are dumb and stupid. Naked for the win.
Diapers are dumb and stupid. Naked for the win.

Oh and if you could please remove all of these from the house, I’d greatly appreciate it.

EVIL. GATES OF HELL.
EVIL. GATES OF HELL.

These things are the worst, they keep me from doing what I really want to do and they are a monstrosity of evil. If I see one of these…I will cry…and it will be annoying. and that means, no cookies for you next year fat boy, oh no…it’s celery sticks and pita chips for you.

Sincerely,

Lukey T.

 

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