I pledge allegiance to the smock…

I have something controversial to talk about today. It’s serious. It’ll probably end up on CNN for being that riskAY. We’re talking about smocking.

Are you thinking to yourself, “WTF is smocking”? Like…smocks you wear in art class?


Psht, please.

No, I’m talking about the really adorable and classic type of kids wear known as smocking. Now, I love it. I don’t love it enough to subject Luke to it everyday because lets face it, I just don’t have time to attempt to get those teeny weeny midget sized buttons together when he’s trying to fling himself off the changing table. I save this for those special already stressful holidays…

But, I will indulge on the OCCASION. I mean a little chubby baby in a bubble or John John with a snowman on it? I DIE.



Whenever I put Luke in one of these get ups, I get the look and the groan, usually followed by “he looks like a girl”. But my husband loves me and lets Luke leave the house in it, but loves to pick up tiny victories along the way. FOR EXAMPLE.

Church on Sunday, our pastor, who reigns from Scotland, so this doesn’t count, just politely stated, he didn’t understand it, wasn’t going to judge, but just didn’t get it….point for dad, but mom thinks he looks cute, he’s still a baby, so its fine (this is what I tell myself). Mostly, it’s the dudes. Dudes give the grown, most of the time women are all “AWWWWW” like everyone should be.

Until….we took Luke to see Santa:

He clearly loved it.
He clearly loved it.

and a lady goes all “awwww what a beautiful little girl”….point for dad AGAIN IN THE GD SAME DAY. She then took her foot outta her mouth when I kindly said…”he’s a boy”…and we went on our merry way. COULDN’T SHE CLEARLY SEE HE’SWEARING PANTS!! PANTS!

MY OWN FATHER N LAW (ahem yes, Lukes grampa….ZING) HAS MADE FUN OF HIS OWN GRANDCHILD FOR WEARING SMOCKING. STOP THE MADNESS PEOPLE:). Can’t we all just get along? We forgive you grampa…just don’t let it happen again….:)

There’s this company called the Beaufort Bonnet Company (TBBC for those in the know) that makes these ADORABLE bonnets and outfits for kids plastered with monograms and oozing with “i wanna squish those cheeks” cuteness….but I can only imagine being tarred and feathered for putting something like that on a baby around here! Although their monogram swaddling bow things are swoon worthy….tangent. back on track.

I’ve taken the liberty (you’re welcome) to break up the United States by their acceptance or non acceptance of this smocking thing. I have found myself in the blackhole of smockness where the smocking transplants are trying to survive amidst some hatred. SMOCKERS UNITE. I’m pretty sure this is not what Mr.Lincoln had in mind when the country was divided during the civil war…”oh you like to put your kids in smock…go down there and wear that grey outfit and shoot guns at those people in the blue who live up north, they hate your smocking culture”…it’s a bit of a stretch…


Our signs in this area should read “Welcome to NOVA, SMOCKERS BE WARNED”.

I realize it’s not as bad for the girls as it is boys. Apparently in this area, boys should pop outta the womb in a three piece suit ready to lobby for higher sugar content in formula bottles or to be able to eat nuts by 10 months old or some crazy shiz like that.

How long until I start a support group for NoVa moms who like to smock? Or stickers on cars….Or T-shirts…..Or….


God bless the smock.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. I love this! And it’s so true! I own a boutique and carry some smocked things but have friends all over the country (and world) and think it’s the most bizarre thing in the world. Your next topic needs to be about the big bow epidemic plaguing the south #bigbowdontcare. 🙂

    1. lcmgoggin says:

      Oh my lord yes! The bows are often so big they block any peripheral vision on these sweet little girls! I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an emerging scoliosis outbreak in a few years from all the lopsided heads from the heavy bows :).

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