I’ve been a mom for all of 3 weeks, meaning I still have no idea what I am doing, and that’s ok. When is it ok not to know what you are doing anymore? Some point before kids turn 18 or get married I’m assuming….or at least by the time we plan on bringing another mini us into the world we should have some sort of idea how this kid raising thing works…so I figure I got some time to “figure it out”.

But, I have learned some thangs that I never knew before…

1. Newborns are loud- those soft squishy faces are quiet for most of the day yes, but man do they make a lot of noise. I’m not even talking about crying…its the grunting, cooing, groaning, squeaking (yes my kid squeaks), breathing, sneezing, you get the idea. This lil bundle of squish sure knows how to make his presence known.

2. Nursing is weird- The concept of feeding something from somewhere that up until a few weeks ago provided no nutritional value to anything is STRANGEEEEEEE. Really really strange. Sure, some people see this as this beautiful natural thing, but lets be honest, it’s bizarre. Add on that the pumping aspect and honestly I just feel like a human dairy cow. Moo moo.

3. Growth spurt shmoth spurt- Most everyone I’ve talked to has told me to beware of the 3 week growth spurt…here we are almost at 4 weeks…and I’ve noticed no such thing. Do these things really exist or is this just an excuse for a randomly fussy kid once in awhile? Shouldn’t babies be growing all the time? Spurts make no sense to me. So I guess I really haven’t learned anything about this…just a concept I’m not on board with.

4. They will honestly sleep through anything. This kid is not bothered by loud organs, dogs barking, or anything of substantial volume for that matter, but how dare I attempt to put this kid in his crib…what is up with that?

Ok that’s about it. Is it depressing I’ve only learned 4 things in 3 weeks? Sorry kid, I’m trying here.