Things I am today:

-Wife, Dog owner, daughter, sister, aunt, tall, consultant, Honda Owner, “Blonde”, germ hater, lover of dunkin donuts, non-exercise enthusiast, Anglophile, and amateur photog…with some other things on the side I’m sure.

Thursday I add:

– Mom to a newborn baby boy…… shouldn’t I have to pass a test first?? It took me 4 years of grad school to be able to tell someone how to try and quit smoking in an evidence-based way…but they’re just gonna let me walk outta the hospital with a living being after 72 hours…K.

As the days tick by and my anticipation levels increase 10 fold every hour…I’m starting to wonder what kind of mom I’m going to be. I have ideas of what kind of mom I DON’T want to be, but it seems to be a bit harder to really pinpoint what kind of mom I WANT to be.

I don’t want to be the mom that freaks out over sleeping and eating schedules, but I recognize the value and importance of schedules 90% of the time….so lets see how we balance that. I don’t want to be the mom that loses herself and her identity in her kids, but I want to love this lil bean and shower him with affection and attention that he deserves. I don’t want to be the mom that is so worried about how others think shes “doing at this job”, but let’s be honest…I want to be seen as a “good mom”…whatever that means. I don’t want to shelter my child from anything that will help him grow and become a better person, it’s important to me that he be respectful and understanding of the world around him. I don’t want to put so many restrictions on my kid that it makes my life easier and his more boring…(i’ll probably regret saying that, but you heard it here first, I don’t WANT it to happen…). That doesn’t mean I’m gonna let my kid pee on a building because I don’t want to take him to the bathroom…it just means I want him to have EXPERIENCES and not just be a disciplined mini version of us.

I want to be a mom that my kids want to genuinely spend time with, but I don’t want to be their friend first parent second… just the opposite in fact, if that makes sense. I want to be a cool mom not like a regular mom….yes….mean girl reference, but not in that pink velour jumpsuit kinda way. I want to be my type of mom, I don’t think I’ll fit into any one “mom group” perfectly (i.e. the crafty mom…if you’ve seen my handwriting you know that’s not happening), so you’ll find me bee bopping around, picking out aspects of each group I like and ignoring the ones I find cray cray. I want to be a little bit of Claire Dunphy with a whole lot of Claire Huxtable (mix the type A with the really in control bad ass lawyer who rules dem kids).

Being one of the first of my friends to dive into parenthood is scary; I feel like I’m being pushed through the haunted house first as they all wait behind to see if it’s safe and clear…but at the same time, I’m really excited to dig into this world without really anyone telling us what to do or showing us the “right way” (well lets be honest lots of people are telling us what to do, but we have selective hearing).

In a week, I’ll probably be writing that I have NO CLUE what I am doing and that i’m hugging my knees in the corner in the middle of the night swaying and crying out of desperation that I can’t figure out which pacifier is the right one…for now…I’m just day dreaming about how our lives are about to be turned upside down.

The world is waiting for you kid, come say hello.