Dear Vincenzo,

Please, please do not leave the Jersey Shore house. I watch for your crazy bromance antics with Pauly D. I watch to watch them make fun or your paleness. Your lack of jerzy-ness, and the fact that you are the only normal soul in that whole house. Please just go home for like one episode, come back, and be the keystone to MVP. I can’t watch a whole season of meatballs and hairspray without the awesome side moments of new catch phrases and the sloppy seconds you and Pauly disgustingly pass back and forth. Please, go home, eat some of yo mamas italian grub, let gross Uncle Nino spit on you or whatever, and come BACK! PLEASE!!

K, thanks.

P.S. Snooki is so guilty. You don’t just yell at people and cry if you did nothing wrong. She “Snooked-up” (im starting that phrase, its gonna be big…you see) with Mike…we all know it…she knows it…the Unit def knows it…and soon Jionni’s gonna know it. Get over it.